Paris

On my first day in Paris I checked in to my hotel, then went and rented a car. I rented a BMW to keep things foreign. It was a manual. Next I went to a little bread shop and bought some fine pastries. Went back to my room. A hot bubble bath. Relaxing. The next day I devoted to writing, because my teacher, mr. Nelson encouraged it. I normally dont like writing, but I'm down for something new. The first spot I try is a park with a nice view of the Eiffel tower. I pull out my fine breads and eat, as I watch people bustle about. It is on a rare sunny day. I write, but it is forced. Nothing great is born. Next i try a chair on a barge floating down a river that runs through the city. The smell of the river breeze, and the sight of people smiling puts me in a good mood. I try to write again. Nothing great again. I stop by a bistro and buy some soup before I head back to my hotel for the night. The next six days I party hard! French girls are nice. The day before I leave to return home it is raining. I pull out my journal and try to write one last time. I'm sitting in a small shop at a bench by the window. I stare into the glum, and drift into memory. I remember all the good experience I had. I tried escargot for the first time. I see all the people I met, all the sights I saw. And I begin to write. Ten minutes later I get up, close my journal, and walk out of the shop. I drive to the airport and get on the plane. As im flyig away I stare at the scenery with only one thought. I'm satisfied.

If you really knew me;

you would know that when I see people, I understand.
you would know that I think i'm smart.

you would know that I drink a gallon of milk everyday.
you would know that I find things like accidentally typing milf instead of milk in the above sentence funny.
you would know that no one knows me.

you would know that sometimes I listen to Shontelle.
you would know that Monk is my favorite TV show.

you would know that math is my favorite subject.
you would know that in the previous sentence I wanted to say what math I was in so everyone would think i'm smart.

you would know that when I see someone in pain, I literally feel it.
you would know that I give two shits about how I look.
you would know that every time I get in the car I check the backseat.

you would know that I want to know everything.
you would know that I daydream about being rich.

you would know that I like being alone.
you would know that if i could redo my whole life I absolutely would, and not because I hate my life, I love it, but because I want to be better.

you would know that in my eyes, Lebron is better than Michael Jordan.
you would know that I am extremely immature.

you would know that I really do believe in Christ.
you would know that I'm so scared to die, because I don't know where i'll go.

you would know that I don't like that outdoors.
you would know that I am a pessimist.
you would know that I keep building this post for a long time.


You would know that I don't want to go to Paris, I want to go to Switzerland, all of it.

Jealousy

Why We Ask You Not To Touch

Human emotions and cognition
Leave a projective film over the poems
making them difficult to perceive,
Careful readers maintain a measured
distance from the works in order
to allow distortion-free comprehension
and to avoid damaging the meaning.

-Charles Bernstein

Really?
Why can't I touch them?
Why do you ask me to read lightly.
Poetry speaks to me through hidden meaning.
The brilliance of the poem is what lies within.

Now I understand, I did just the opposite and I understand.
I touched, I delved, I watched, I gorged, I found.
You sneaky poets, every move is planned.
The brilliance astounds me.
SOL (smile out loud).
Wow.

Gandhi

Gandhi was just a man, light defined him as less than one.
But unlike you or me, he did.

I keep forgetting that I don't actually know who Gandhi is.
i keep forgetting not to slouch.
I keep forgetting that people aren't really watching.
I keep forgetting that even if they were, it wouldn't matter.

When will we own ourselves completely?

I keep forgetting to turn my alarm clock off instead of snooze.
i keep forgetting that intelligence doesn't have to matter.
I keep forgetting that Emily Dickinson is just a person.
I keep forgetting not to prioritize.

And tonight is not the last time i'll see the light.