Ordinary World: Cran is rich, he does what he wants, and no one the dislikes him has the power to do anything. He drives nice cars, travels to exotic places, and eats fancy food. He also happens to be married to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley AKA Razz.
Call To Adventure: Cran begins to gain weight.
Refusal of Call: Cran convinces himself that is "a mere 69 lbs gained" is no figure to be ashamed of. Subconsciously, he thinks he's fat.
Meeting With Mentor: Razz forces Cran to sign up for a very expensive weight loss program, where he gains his mentor, Blue. Blue is 6 foot 9, a mix between African and German, and has a body not to be confused with Arnold's.
Crossing The Threshold: Because of Cran's lack of an attention span, he failed to read the 169 page long contract before signing. This contract, unbeknownst to Cran, included his permission to be captured from his posh existence, and forced to live in an absolutely proletarian community. Blue knocks him out in the night and carries him away.
Test, Allies, Enemies: Cran is constantly battling with Blue, as Blue pushes him to do more and more to maintain his figure. The cook, Lingon, helps Cran out by slipping him extra portions under the table. This forms a crude triangle of allies and enemies, as Blue suspects Lingon's involvement in Cran's struggle to lose all 69 lbs.
Approach: Cran's moral in nearly broke when Lingon appears with a fantastic concoction, Lingon's invention of the Clifbar is nearly deus ex machina to Cran, as the Clifbar's give him the strength needed to continue, and more.
Ordeal: Cran luckily stumbles upon the location of his whereabouts at the base of the Thera Volcano in Greece. Cran remembers his nearest house in located on Santorini Island. As soon as Cran discovers this, he also discovers the main goal of the exercise program, to kill by exhaustion. He is notified of the approaching "Jackie Chan Race" named so because Jackie Chan was the only person believed to hold to skills necessary to complete it.
Reward: After running 111.1 Kilometers, Cran's exhaustion begins to curb his effort 6.9 miles into the swimming portion of the race. Luckily his father had beat him with a compass as a child, because Cran still retained a Compass like imprint upon his bosom that somehow converted the magnetic pull of the earth into a direction. Using this rudimentary braille-like compass, Cran maneuvered the waters akin to a dolphin chasing his mate, thanks to Blue's intense training, and Lingon's special recipe. Cran eventually reaches his home on the Santorini Island with Blue's hound Mul right on his tale. Cran proceeds to prepare his private jet for the journey back to Beirut, but not before checking FB, and tweeting "Greece is nice this time of year".
The Road Back: Cran returns home to Beirut into the arms of his lovely wife Razz, and returns immediately to his old lifestyle. Fast cars, Caviar, and of course his wife, are all the Cran can think about.
Resurrection: Because of Cran's return to his old habits, he proceeds to gain weight. Eventually weighing in at 68 lbs more than his regular. Razz's bed experience declines as Cran's weight increases. She will not put up with this anymore, and threatens to call Blue if Cran passes the magic number. Cran has sudden deja vu, and recalls his whole experience on the island, and remembers the Clifbar. He cooks up a batch, and with the extra motivation returns to a happy equilibrium.
Return With The Elixir: Cran hires an assassin to kill Lingon, and proceeds to publish Lingon's invention, claiming it as his own. With the new Clifbar, everyone in the world is motivated to stay fit and obesity is ended. More importantly, Cran's fortune doubles.
Hero: Cran
Mentor: Blue
Threshold Guardian: Razz
Herald: The 169 page-long contract
Shape-shifter: Blue
Shadow: Mul
Trickster: Lingon
No comments:
Post a Comment